The unread email from the magazine editor just sat there in my Inbox, waiting for me to click on it. I didn't have to open it, though. The entire message was short enough that it fit inside the narrow preview pane:
"Thank you for offering your story to [us]. We're sorry to tell you that we will not be using it; you are free to submit it elsewhere."I read the message a few times, each time expecting myself to slip over the edge into some pit of disappointment, where I would sit in darkness for days and wonder why I bother to continue writing. I expected to feel depressed that no one was interested in publishing my stories yet. I didn't feel any of those things though.
I was instead surprised to find myself feeling happy, which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me until after I thought about it for a couple of days. I finally concluded that there were a few good reasons why I simply couldn't feel upset or disappointed or angry because of the rejection.
First, I had heard back from the magazine much sooner than expected based on what their website listed as their average response time. I took this as an encouraging sign and was able to successfully convince myself it was because they had been so excited to read my story. (Note: If you're a member of the magazine's editing staff and you happen to be reading this, please don't write me to correct my misguided delusion!)
Second, I was grateful for their reminder that I had another chance to try again. "You are free to submit it elsewhere." In fact, my first reaction was to open up the story and try to look at it more objectively, try to see it through the eyes of the editor. Sure enough, there were several changes that I needed to make. I took a day to rewrite sections of the story that didn't quite work the way I had intended, then attached it to another email and sent it off to the next editor on my list.
Third, a rejection to me is still a success. I've worked with writers who simply couldn't handle rejection very well at all (or writing critiques for that matter). They simply took them too personally. Not surprisingly, many of those people are no longer writing. They just became too discouraged and gave up. One easy way to avoid being rejected is to never send your stories out to editors. Of course, that's also a really good way to insure that you never get published. The fact that I've received lots of rejections and that I'm still writing and getting better tells me I must be doing something right.
Anyone who is serious about writing is going to face a lot of rejections. Even after you've "made it", not everyone is going to like every story you write. Not all of your stories will even be publishable. Stephen King and J.K. Rowling still get rejected. Writing is a business filled with taking chances. That's one of the things I love so much about this job. I'm taking chances on myself and my abilities. Of course, that also means I have to accept responsibility for my work and I can't blame anyone else when I fail.
This certainly wasn't my first rejection letter and I know it won't be my last, so what did I do with it? I simply printed it off and added it to my growing collection of rejections that sit in a pile on top of my writing desk. I'm proud of my rejection letters. I collect them like soldiers collect battle scars, small wounds that hurt a lot when I first got them, but which have now toughened over and given me a thicker skin.
So that's probably why I couldn't be upset about the rejection, no matter how hard I tried. Instead of seeing it as a failure, I saw it as an opportunity to get better. I also saw it as a form of success: I had created something special and had the guts to send it out into the world. It's okay that it came back. I'll probably end up making several more changes. Each time I'll send it back out until it eventually flies on its own. And if it never does, that's okay too because there's lots more where that came from and next time will be even better.
